Archive for the ‘funny’ Category

Being watched

March 20, 2014

Fainjin proudly showed me a page in one of his exercise books.  The class had been asked to write down things they love.

Fainjin had drawn a big heart, and put his words in and around it.  I saw Lego, dragons, robots, ice cream… no big surprises there!

“What’s this one?” I asked, pointing to where he’d written “Guses”.

“Jesus!” he said.  “And God’s there too,” he pointed.

“Oh, of course, silly me.”

He leant in close and confided, “I had to put those guys in, in case they might get mad or something.”

I was slightly shocked, and amused.  “No, Fainjin, that’s not what happens!”

But he interrupted me, looking over his shoulder, and whispered, “Mum! They’re everywhere!”

Possibly a religious-education failure right there.

Fainjin loves...

Fainjin loves…

© UpsideBackwards 2014.


Silly question, Dad!

December 17, 2013

Fainjin has modified his Lego Father Christmas, adding some talons from a Hero Factory set he has.  The Dad (who is usually quite bright) was puzzled, and asked why he’d done it.



Fainjin giggled with glee.  “Because he’s Santa CLAWS!”

Well, of course.

© UpsideBackwards 2013.



October 16, 2013

Another breakfast conversation with Fainjin – they seem to be my main source of blog fodder at the moment!

I’d been talking about some medicine with Pearl, and used the word “tablet”.  About five minutes later, Fainjin said, “Mum, I’m confused about tablets.”

“Confused?  Why?”

He thought for a bit.  “Well, they can be different things.”

I saw what he was getting at.  “Do you mean like tablets that are medicine and tablets that are computers?”


“That’s just using the same word to mean two different things.  It’s a little bit confusing, but we do it in the English language all the time.  I wouldn’t worry too much.”

He considered that, then said, “OK”.  I was grateful he didn’t ask for another example, because I didn’t have one ready despite my assertion.  Feel free to leave a list of your favourites in the comments.

Then a few minutes later, he mused, “And some tablets are baby frogs.”

Pearl and I looked at him, and laughed.  “OK Fainjin, now you are confused!”

© UpsideBackwards 2013.

A manners lesson for Paul & John

October 5, 2013

The kids are bopping around the living room to a Beatles compilation CD – a very common Saturday activity in our house.  Just a few minutes ago, Babess paused the CD and came in to tell us something.  “I want to hold your hand” was cut off mid-lyric.

“That’s not a good thing to say,” she told us.

“What’s not good?” we asked.

“That.  What they’re saying.  They’re saying “I want” and you shouldn’t say that.  They won’t get it!  They need to say “Please””.

We agreed, and she went back to turn the music on and keep dancing, secure in her understanding of modern manners.

© UpsideBackwards 2013.

Writing practice

July 6, 2013

Babess is enjoying school, from all accounts.  She is becoming more confident, but still playing the “I’m little and new” card somewhat successfully.  She is little, easily half-a-head shorter than anyone else in her class, and of slight build, so it’s easy to underestimate her.

She readily admitted one day that there was something she didn’t really want to do – of a schoolwork nature – “… so I just did the first little bit and then because I’m new Mrs X came and wrote the rest for me.”

I gave her a stern look and told her that wasn’t the right thing to do and won’t work for long – and had a quiet word in the teacher helper’s ear next time I saw her!

Although she hasn’t found the joy of writing her own stories yet, she does seem to enjoy the physical act of writing, and does lots of practice.  This evening she wanted to write some subtitles below a picture she had coloured in, of a princess or some such.  So she grabbed her brother’s book, “Horrid Henry’s Dinosaurs”, and copied out a chapter heading at random.

Now we have a lovely picture, all coloured in, sweetness and light, with the caption in beautiful handwriting: “Bloodthirsty beasts”.

This is why we had children.

© UpsideBackwards 2013.

A heartfelt wish for Mothers’ Day

May 1, 2013

At the school holiday programme today – which Pearl and Fainjin most thoroughly enjoyed – they were encouraged to make gifts and cards for Mothers’ Day.  Fainjin made me some lovely floral-and-lots-of-things badges, and this utterly priceless card.

Fainjin  Mum

Fainjin”hearts” Mum

I love the kitten saying “Mewu”.  There’s a dog in a kennel (I think) saying “Aooo”, a picture of me saying “Me”, and Fainjin saying “Roar”.  But the inside of the card is the best bit.

Mum can you stop telling me to do jobs from Fainjin

Mum can you stop telling me to do jobs from Fainjin

I love you so much, please stop making me do housework!

I am keeping this card in our box of special things to keep for 21st birthdays.  Oh, and guess what we’re doing tomorrow?  Jobs.


© UpsideBackwards 2013.


Golf balls

April 24, 2013

We’re just home from a few days away.  It is bliss to be back in our own place and our own beds!  But of course it was lovely to get away for a little while too.  We had fun exploring a new (to the children) city and seeing the sights.

By yesterday afternoon Babess was tired beyond reason, so I kept her at the motel with me and sent The Dad out with the older two to have an adventure without us.  Babess snuggled on the couch under a blanket – I hoped she’d drop off, but she didn’t, so we watched a cartoon movie together and I knitted another pattern repeat in my shawl.  It was lovely and restful and we both appreciated the chance to chill out a bit.

Eventually The Dad returned with Pearl and Fainjin, and they were fizzing.  They’d been to play minigolf.  Pearl showed me the scorecard with a measure of chagrin.  Her score was highest, Fainjin a few shots less, and The Dad had beaten them both by over 30.  I pointed out that she had got best value for money, having actually played more golf than anyone else.  She liked that way of looking at it.  I didn’t tell her that I’d come up with it to justify my own golf scores whenever I play.

Fainjin came bouncing in next to tell us all about it.  “We played minigolf!  It was awesome!  There were lots of testicles and…”

“Hang on Fainjin, what did you say?”

“We played minigolf!  It was awesome!  There were lots of testicles and you had to…”

“Wait!  Did you say testicles?  Lots of testicles?” I was smothering gales of laughter and trying to figure out what he had meant to say.

He didn’t notice I was laughing.

“Yeah, lots of testicles!  It was really cool!”

“Ummmmm, do you mean… obstacles?”

“Yeah!  Testicles!”

I made him repeat the word “obstacles” after me a few times.  Life is full of obstacles.  Luckily, it’s also full of comedy.

© UpsideBackwards 2013.

Who’s there?

March 21, 2013

Babess has discovered the delights of the knock-knock joke.  This afternoon in the car she was practising on Fainjin.

B: “Knock knock!”

F: “Who’s there?”

B: “Boo!”

F (has heard this many times before but goes along with it): “Boo who?”

B: “Ahhh, don’t cry Fainjin, it’s only me! Ahahahaha!”

F: “Yep, right. My turn.  Knock knock!”

B: …

F: “Knock knock!”

B: …

F, getting frustrated: “Knock knock!”

B: “There’s no-one there, Fainjin, nobody’s home.”

Little sister wins.  Again.

© UpsideBackwards 2013.

English Toast

August 31, 2012

The children are having a sleepover with The Fabulous Auntie B and their cousins this weekend.  Pearl was chatting with her older cousin and mentioned that she prefers to stay with Nana, because Nana makes her french toast for breakfast.

Older cousin said, “Well, if you ask Auntie B very nicely, we might get french toast for breakfast here!” (It might perhaps be noted that older cousin is plenty grown-up enough to be capable of making french toast himself… just in case he reads this!).

Fainjin looked a bit anxious, and asked – by way of checking – “But if I ask Auntie B nicely, she will make me english toast, won’t she?”

Older cousin was amused, and asked him what english toast was. “It’s toast, in our language…”

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

Untold dangers

August 19, 2012

Babess hops carefully along the pavement, her forehead creased in concentration.  Suddenly she notices I am walking normally.

“Mummy!  Be careful!  Don’t step on the cracks!”

I smile.  “Why not, Babess?”

“Because there might be lava in them!”

“Oooh, like a volcano?”

“Yes!  There might be volcano lava there!” she nods emphatically, then pauses for reflection.  “Or bears.”

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

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