Posts Tagged ‘funny’

Chicken

January 6, 2013

Dinner tonight was chicken and rice with vegetables.   Babess “finished” and put her plate on the bench – and I noticed she had eaten her rice and veges but not any chicken.  I’d only given her a couple of little pieces in any case, so I called her back and told her to eat them.

She ate the first one, then looked at me.  “Hey Mum, is this chicken made of real chicken?”

“Yeesss….” I wasn’t quite sure what she was asking.  I’m not in the habit of serving faux chicken (although my own mother was guilty at least once of serving rabbit and calling it chicken).

“Does it say ‘boock boock’?”

“Well, it used to.”  She looked at me, and I could swear she raised a single eyebrow.

“It’s dead now.  That’s why we can eat it.”  I didn’t think I really needed to go into details.

She popped the second piece in her mouth, then went to find her brother.  “Hey, Fainjin! Did you know, this chicken is made of real chicken?  That says ‘boock boock’?”

“Yeah!”

“But it died.” sad voice “So now we can eat it!” happy voice

“Yeah, ‘cos it dies, then the supermarket turns it into meat.”  Big brother was happy to show he already knew all about it.

These kids crack me up.

© UpsideBackwards 2013.

Holiday snaps

December 22, 2012

We’re on our way to see Grandma and Grandad – and uncles, aunts and cousins – for Christmas.  Usually we fly all the way, but this year we are driving from Brisbane.  We landed mid-morning Queensland time, but lunchtime in NZ, so as soon as we had picked up our rental car we headed for some food.

After lunch, we gave the kids quarter of an hour in the playground to stretch their legs.  I popped into the adjacent shop for some snacks and water bottles for the trip, and as I put them in the car I noticed the parking sign.

“We might be in a spot of bother,” I informed The Dad, who was supervising the kids at the playground.  He looked concerned, and I said, “We might have to stay a bit longer than we planned…”

Minimum 2 hours?!

Minimum 2 hours?!

Luckily, no-one tried to stop us when we left after only 45 minutes or so.

The drive is more than one day, so we have stopped for a couple of nights in a small town to recover from yesterday’s long journey and acclimatise a little bit.  The place we’re staying has a children’s programme, and the girls enjoyed making Christmas decorations.  Fainjin didn’t want to make an ornament, so he asked for some paper to draw a picture.  When he was done, he brought it to show me.

Fainjin's picture

Fainjin’s picture

“I decided to draw the water cycle,” he said.  “With a crocodile.”

As you do.  He even drew in some sunspots.  That’s the sun in the upper left of the picture – it does have rays, but the yellow is difficult to see.  He’s written “sun” underneath, in case of any doubt.

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

English Toast

August 31, 2012

The children are having a sleepover with The Fabulous Auntie B and their cousins this weekend.  Pearl was chatting with her older cousin and mentioned that she prefers to stay with Nana, because Nana makes her french toast for breakfast.

Older cousin said, “Well, if you ask Auntie B very nicely, we might get french toast for breakfast here!” (It might perhaps be noted that older cousin is plenty grown-up enough to be capable of making french toast himself… just in case he reads this!).

Fainjin looked a bit anxious, and asked – by way of checking – “But if I ask Auntie B nicely, she will make me english toast, won’t she?”

Older cousin was amused, and asked him what english toast was. “It’s toast, in our language…”

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

Karma Comedian

August 18, 2012

“Hey Dad, want to hear a funny noise?”

“Um, OK Fainjin.”

“Bleeeerp!” Fainjin laughs uproariously.  This is what passes for conversation at our Saturday breakfast table.

“Comedian!” I said to The Dad as I went to the toaster.  “Yep,” said Fainjin with pride.

“What’s a comedian, Fainjin?” I asked.

“It changes colour when it moves on things,” he answered confidently.  I don’t think he was joking this time, either.

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

Nana won’t be impressed either

August 17, 2012

This evening over dinner, Fainjin was struck by a thought.

“Mum!”

“Yes, Fainjin?”

“Did you know, that really really long ago, when you were born…”

“Mmmm, that wasn’t that long ago!”

“… There were dinosaurs!”

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

Time flies

July 21, 2012

This morning, The Dad and Babess dropped Fainjin off at his music lesson.

I went to collect him 45 minutes later, and we waited for Pearl to finish her music lesson.  Then Fainjin wanted to play at the playground for a little bit, so I chatted to Pearl’s music teacher and then another parent for a while.  Eventually we left the school, and walked home.  On the way we met two of Fainjin’s classmates and of course stopped to chat with each of them as well.

At last we made it home.  Fainjin burst through the door and was genuinely surprised to see Babess.   “Hey!” he mock-growled.  “How come you got home so fast before us?!”

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

The voice of authority

July 7, 2012

It’s Saturday morning, the middle of the school holidays.  It’s early, still dark.  Fainjin appears next to me, fully dressed.  “Mum!” he says brightly, “It’s after 6 o’clock!”

“Yes, it is,” I agree, not quite so brightly, “but it’s the weekend, remember?  So we don’t get up until after seven o’clock.”

“Oh.  Sorry!” he sings, rather unapologetically.  He takes himself into the kitchen and bangs about a bit making himself breakfast.  Every so often he comes back in to check with us about something or other, waking me out of my doze each time.

A little later, Babess is awake and calling out.  Fainjin goes in to talk to her, and I hear him tell her she can’t get up until after 7 o’clock.  Little hypocrite, I think to myself fondly.  Then Babess calls, “Mum!  What day is it?”

Fainjin tells her it’s Wednesday.  All I can assume is that he’s remembered “weekend” and confused it with a day starting with W.  She ignores him and calls out louder, “Muuuum! What DAY is it?”

Fainjin is indignant that she hasn’t taken his word for it.  “It’s Wednesday!  I told you!”

The Dad and I start snickering when Babess calls out again, “MUM!”

Poor Fainjin is completely offended by this stage.  He draws on his full 17-and-a-half months of superior experience in instructing his baby sister.  His exasperated voice has us in (quiet) stitches.  “Ba-bess!  It’s Wednesday!  Trust me!  I’m like a grown-up!”

 

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

Taking things personally

July 5, 2012

We were walking through town, shivering in the cold blustery wind which whipped up dust and sand and made us blink.

“Mummy,” Babess said mournfully, “the wind is throwing things at me because it doesn’t like me.”

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

How many fingers am I holding up?

June 11, 2012

While I prepared dinner this afternoon, Fainjin was in the loungeroom colouring in, practising his writing, and – as it turned out – playing about with numbers.

“Hey Mum!” he yelled at me as if there were miles between us instead of just a hallway.  “I worked something out!  Five plus one, equals, SIX!”

“Yes it does,” I replied, wondering what he might be counting.

A minute later he yelled again.  “And five plus two, equals, SEVEN!”

“That’s right.”

Having established a pattern, the next sum was immediate: “Five plus three is EIGHT!”

I put the veges in the oven and went to see what he was up to.  He was just writing numbers and adding them up, as far as I could see – not counting anything in particular.  “The first one has to be five,” he told me, but I still don’t know quite why.  “Five plus five is ten!”

I went back to the kitchen.  After a little while, he called out, “Mum!  What’s ten plus ten?”

“I think you can figure that out,” I encouraged him.

Later, over dinner, I realised I hadn’t heard his answer.  “Did you figure it out?”

“Yes!” he was proud of himself.  “I counted on my fingers.  Ten plus ten is… twenty-one!”

The Dad and I exchanged glances.

“Hmmm, really? Perhaps we should check.”  I held up both hands and we agreed that was ten.  Then I raised one finger at a time and we counted on from eleven.  Twenty!

Fainjin looked thoughtful.  “Maybe I have more fingers than you.”

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

Bear’s big adventure

April 11, 2012

Last year when we went to Sydney, Green Bear came too of course.  He mostly stayed at the hostel when we went out, although he might have seen one or two of the playgrounds we visited.

On our last day, we had to leave early in the morning, so The Dad and I packed the night before.  Green Bear went into one of the carry-on bags, but had to come out again to sleep with Fainjin.  In the morning, we got the children up, dressed them, stripped the beds and took the linen down to reception, left the duvets piled on the beds, checked under the beds and in all the cupboards for any forgotten items, and left while it was still dark.

A couple of hours later, on the plane, I noticed that Babess’ baby doll was in my bag, but Green Bear wasn’t.   “Do you have Green Bear?” I asked The Dad quietly.  He looked in his bag.  “Nooo…”  We wondered whether Fainjin had put Green Bear in his own little bag.  I checked.  Nope.

I wondered whether to bring it up.  We were still half-way through our trip, and I didn’t want Fainjin to be upset about losing his bear, if he had.  But I thought he might have put Green Bear in one of the checked bags.  So as we walked through the second airport on the way to our next plane, I casually asked, “Hey Fainjin, do you know where Green Bear is?”

Fainjin looked at me and giggled.  “He’s hiding!” he said conspiratorially.

“Hiding?!” I had a sick feeling in my stomach.  “Hiding where?”

“At the hostel!  Heee heee hee!”

“Fainjin… we’re not going back to the hostel.  We’re not even going back to Sydney!”

“I know!  Hee hee!  He’s having a – hee hee! – adbenture!”

He certainly was.  It turned out Fainjin had hidden the bear in one of the piled-up duvets.  Luckily the hostel were very kind and understanding and posted him back to us.  It took a couple of weeks to get him back, but Fainjin was supremely unconcerned the whole time.  He was perfectly happy knowing that he had sent his bear on a big adventure!

© UpsideBackwards 2012.

 


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