Five Things

Here’s an interesting project: an attempt to link up 80 countries in 80 clicks, by asking mothers around the world to write about 5 things they love about being a mother.  Thanks to Whymommy for her beautiful post, and getting me thinking.  Usually this blog is all about the kids, but for this once…

Hmmm.  Five things.  Only five?  The first three could be easy: Pearl, Fainjin, and Babess.  Or I could go a bit deeper.

I didn’t want to be a Mum.  It wasn’t something I aspired to, I didn’t really like children, I was too selfish to be a mother I was certain.  “It’ll be different when you have your own”, I was told, and I half-believed it but didn’t really care to find out for sure.  Besides, I had such hard examples to follow.  My own mother, endlessly patient and wise, gourmet cook and expert sewer.  My little sister, made in the same mould, the sort of mother I could only ever hope to be a pale shadow of.

I wouldn’t have endless patience; I would surely end up yelling at my kids.  I would find it hard, if not impossible, to give up my own pursuits in favour of theirs – reading kids’ books, aloud, over and over and over, instead of losing myself in a different novel every day; listening to The Wiggles, bless ’em, instead of playing a Telemann sonata with friends; having to share my beloved with anyone else.

All those things are true, and yet, somehow, they provide the answers as well.  I don’t have endless patience, and I do yell at my kids.  But I am learning to be patient (if only I could learn just a bit faster…), and trying not to raise my voice.  It is hard to read the same book about fire engines or fairy princesses over and over and over again – but it is truly a joy to see a love of books emerging in all our children.  Likewise with the music.  And I find I can still read my own books, and play my own tunes, just not as often.  I haven’t lost me, I have grown.

As for sharing my love and my life with these kids, well, hard as it is, I can’t imagine it any other way.  They have strengthened and enlivened our relationship, taught us things about ourselves and each other, and bring us joy every day.  Of course they will look after us when we are old and foolish, which helps too.

So, back to the point.  Five things I love about being a Mum:

1. The way, when you have a baby, as long as you dress ’em up cute, no-one cares or even notices what you are wearing.

2. Smiles and coos from random strangers.   Sure, they’re aimed at the baby, but I’ll take them.

3.  Seeing the world fresh through children’s eyes, through their discoveries and odd and interesting questions.  (“Mummy, where do we get day from?”)

4. The sense of community with other mothers, whether at school, at daycare, or through other blogs.  We can be from wildly different backgrounds, cultures, politics and beliefs, but when it matters we’re all mums.

5.  All that I wrote above.

I’m not quite sure how to “tag” other people for this, but I’ll have a go.  I tag Stimey, because I think she’s hilarious and I can’t wait to read what she’d write, and ReluctantMemsahib, because she writes so beautifully, plus I don’t think Tanzania has been tagged yet.